I must start with an apology for to our readers for another staycation/lounge report but it’s the time of year where room-nights count double for platinum status and Mrs Sachi has us out of home most weekends. One more after this one and I’ll do some restaurant or wine reviews.
It’s a week after our Valentine’s day stay and the bruises are almost gone. My black eye is pretty much unnoticeable and I’m walking without a stick, which is lucky because it’s another Friday-night stay at one of Bangkok’s finer hotels, the Sheraton Orchid Riverside.
Now, I must confess that this is not our first stay, we had a night here during the covid-19 times when the rooms were cheap but the costs were cut. I can’t say that it was a great stay, we got kicked out of the restaurant, which was a bit rubbish, at 8pm, the lounge was replaced by cheap drinks by the river and I would say it was the least satisfying stay of that period, hence the lack or a writeup.
The thing is though, now travel is back baby! Tourism is in full-swing around the world and the five-star service is back on and I’m happy to report that I can now endorse this member of the riverside hotel cluster.
They turn on the taps at 5pm so that sees me rolling up on a moto. It’s not far from home and the traffic is nuts at five on a Friday so here is me, again, rolling up to one of Bangkok’s premium places in the company of a chap in an orange vest. Luckily, I wasn’t the only one this time. Ha! Maybe he was doing a review too.
As usual the check-in chick had to type an essay to get me registered but finally handed over the room-card and I rode the lift up to 27. Naturally, my card wouldn’t let me in the lounge because said check-in chick had fucked up but that was soon resolved. This happens about half the time.
Finally, I make my arrival dripping road-sweat and apologies being being 40-minutes late. I’m going to say that the views from Marriott Surawonse are pretty good (if you like looking at dilapidated rooftops) being in a relatively low-rise area, but there’s nothing like being on the water. It’s a funny thing about living in Bangkok that the closer you are to the river, the further you are away from everything else. Wait, that sounds stupid. It is stupid, but what I mean is that the only non-road transport near the river is the river so you’re cut off from the rest of the city by the traffic-cage. I should know as I used to live in Dusit and 7pm appointments in Sukhumvit were an impossibility.
So it’s nice to be back. The lounge offers amazing views of the River of Kings and the boat traffic is a parade of novelty. Yes, you have the barges moving sand, building-waste or old Pepsi bottles but you also have the restaurant boats or booze cruises that light up after dark. My favourites are the vintage rivercraft operated by the riverside hotels about here and the Sheraton has an adorable one that will pick you up from Sapphan Thaksin and drop you right at the bar.
The lounge is a classic. Roomy and with a proper bar. And a barman, who will take your order, make a great show with the cocktail shaker and pour you a nice cocktail. It’s hard to take one’s eye from the river but looking about I canvassed the crowd. Lots of old couples, but they don’t look like tourists. Methinks that this may be the place to go on a Friday for Walt and Sally who have been coming here every year since ’84. Normally, lounge lizards fall into three categories:
- Gay couples.
- Single, middle-aged ladies with laptops.
- The young guy who has invited some hot chick from Tinder.
Only one of each from the first two and none of the last. And I’m hoping to join the old folks one day and get some permanent membership that will let me shuffle into my normal seat and get me boozed and fed on the regular. Perhaps this is the place. One day, me toasting Sachie on our 30th anniversary and choking to death on a buffet chicken-wing.
But that’s all for the future, there is work to be done. There’s a cocktail list with the intriguing entry: ‘Cocktail of the Day’. Turns out that is was my old friend and accomplice, the Long Island Iced Tea. Oh, when will they learn? I certainly have because I only had one of these petrol-bombs rather than necking five in a row and spending the rest of the night vomiting into a bin. And they say university is only book-learning?
I switched to a Margarita as the sun went down and can attest that it was excellent, you could taste the tequila and it was good tequila. Getting tipsy and watching the play of boats on the river worthy of Conrad as it converts from barges and industrial traffic to the garishly-lit disco-boats is completely charming, especially with a Mai-Tai in my hand while Mrs Sachi sips her Pina-Colada, damn good cocktails. We finished up with their signature the Pranakorn, which is pink, a bit sweet but still good. To finish off, there was a fireworks display upriver that really gave the night a chef’s kiss to the whole evening.
By now, I had done my duty and sampled each of the cocktails, wines and beers. Some of the spirits too. Things were starting to look a bit funny:
Yep, time to give our thanks and retire. I hadn’t seen the room yet so picked up my simple valise and followed Mrs Sachi on a wobbly walk.
Mrs Sachi is walking wobbly because she is still recovering from her hippo attack in Malaysia. The room is charmingly old-school. Unlike modern constructions, there’s no window to the bathroom so I can snap one off in comfort without getting dirty looks from the wife. There is a phone though:
A phone by the dunny harks back to a more simple time when you may be unable to answer an important call while answering a call from nature. These days nobody has an excuse for missing a call as the phone, if not actually in your hand, is in reach. That’s why nobody makes phone calls these days. I tried calling Sachie in the room, there being no window I could wave to her through, but ended up talking to the font desk instead.
The naive charm doesn’t end in the bathroom, there’s no USB port in the wall next to the bed. There’s no power outlet by the bed either. This place was wired up in the days when phones didn’t need a charge overnight, you could reach one from both the shower, or the throne. If you have an urgent message there’s a fax in the business centre.
If a fax is too quick there’s letterheaded stationary and envelopes in that drawer. You know, in case your phone is flat or something.
I have this photo:
But no recollection of taking a ride or where we went. I’m sure it was fine, pink lights and love-hearts can’t be bad, right?
But now it’s morning and time to fight the hangover break our fast.
That’s the Continental Breakfast I’m talking about. God bless them for keeping it going until 11. I really can’t get over the view. I love boats.
I’m shy of Eggs Benedict these days, everywhere attempts them but few places succeed and bad Benedict is no good on a tender tummy. I give this one a 7.5.
I really am terribly spoiled and there will come a day when I’m no longer welcome in the club lounge but until that day…
I’ll take it.